pathetic

Sometimes I wonder why [certain] people around me trying so hard to convince me that I will not be able to do something that I believe I can accomplish it. Despite the fact that I have a detail calculation, steps and strategy how to accomplish it and I know that I will be able to achieve that goal for sure. But some, just kept trying to convince me [without solid proof] that I will not make it.

Once, I'll just brush it off like a lint from my black shirt. But repeatedly? It really bothers me. Outside I'll be as cheerful as I can be, but some nights I will sit on the corner of my bedroom wondering why would people do such things instead of supporting me. But then I snap myself up, who else is going to believe in me but myself. Y would say, "what others say to you is usually what reflects about themselves". She has a point in that sense, historically I proof them wrong about me and I proof that they are the ones who are unable to achieve goals that I accomplished.

So I shall never forget, that I must not underestimate my own ability to achieve my goal. I am the one who knows what I am capable of, and I will believe in myself. Life without goal and ambition isn't worth living. Besides, those certain people are just simply... pathetic.

Move my nest

Yay, finally moved house....

As I typed this post, I just managed to make my bed, still a lot to unpack but at least I have my Internet, power, TV, lounge, dining, fridge, and finally bed (not completed, but I can climb and sleep on it). Still missing out (misplaced) a lot of stuffs. I can't even find my hair dryer. But meh, been raining in the past 12 days non stop that my removalist complained how slippery it was to carry my furnitures.

After nesting in the old place for the past 7 years, I braved myself to move out. I don't wanna feel so attached to it. Ideally, I wanna live in different places and see how it feels.q maybe I should start selling my stuffs from now on. I'm gonna miss my old place, but at least I know the people who live there now, so I can always come back occasionally.

Things that I will miss:
1. The big floor to ceiling window (and the rainbow)
2. The big balcony
3. The birds
4. The vast living room where I can invite people over
5. The double carapace
6. The friendly neighbor

Things that I will not miss
1. That god damn slow elevator
2. That intercom which is nonsense
3. The smoke alarm which constantly beeping
4. The leak on the window
5. The layout that is not thoughtful (must be a beginner architect)
6. The occasional moment when I got trapped in the elevator

tired

Raining again, I am not sure how to get stuffs for work from store across the road in this heavy rain. I have been drowning myself with work. I used to start at 8 am and leave work at 4 pm no matter what. But something bothered me, and what's disturbing is the fact that I fail to pointed at what. I been trying to shake it off, but seems futile. Hence, I drown myself with work. I start at 8 am but finished at 6 and often 8 pm. I'm not sure what it is, but I feel so lonely for no reason. I am not complaining about being single, but even hanging out with friends is rather an impossible mission.

Packing is half way done, I can't pack any more because what left to pack are the stuffs I will need to use in coming 2.5 weeks anyway. Moving house is tedious, after 7 years living in this house since I was study and have gap year and finally got myself a job. I made a lot of memories in this place. I decided to move but I feel nervous now. What if I don't like sharing house with Al. But it will be first change after my stagnant  life.***

lost in time

One of those random conversation with a work colleague when he said, "Rick's American restoration is getting interesting now." "Oh Shit, I must have missed it last night, that show is only on Monday night", I commented. He frown "errr... today is Monday". Damn, it's one of those moment when I actually lost count on dates and forgot what day is today. I guess that's what would happen if I were too busy that even weekend felt like Monday already.

The good thing is, fact that I lost time means I have been having productive times. Hence, I forget all the sad things in life that even Mom complained fact that I haven't called her in a while. Or other friends that I haven't managed in contact with, or catch up with. I even forgot that I was supposed to meet people for dinner. No new boys, well I think every guys who tried to get to know me has fallen into my friend-zone instead.

So, today is Monday, can Friday be here now please... :D I really need extra day between Saturday and Sunday. And I still look forward to Rick's show. One day I am gonna pull out that old tractor from the 60's in B2's dad shed and fix it, polish it, make it a shiny classic machinery back to life. If that opportunity ever come.***

Expired

It's interesting that by law everything has expiry date these days. Despite fact that honey is probably one of consumable [edible] item that has no expiry date, but they manufacturer is still required to put expiry date on it. Even adhesive strips first aid comes with expiration date now.

But wait, what am I talking about again? Oh right, I was about to correlate with relationship [partner/friendship] expiry date. I suppose my friendship with D has expired long time ago. The moment she finally got a new bf, she changed totally into different person. The fact that they both are really ignorant people is probably one of the things that drove me away from them and declare [to myself] that this is obsolete by now.

As much as I wanna keep things in status quo, ther're things that are beyond my control. Part of me wanted her to improve, part of me feeling sceptical about it, and another part of me [undeniably] feel glad that she got evicted from this country. Things happened for a reason, and I need some changes in life, and it has to be a good one. Things started changing at a faster pace than I thought. I will be moving with Al in a month time and then move again around Christmas [hopefully].

what meal to get me the most like?

I was not so sure why did I always find it irritating when a friend stopping me from digging my own food in a restaurant for the sake of them taking picture of my food. They have their own, and I have no problem they take a picture of their own food and posting it on social media. But bitch please, don't stop me from eating.

I can fully understand if you're a chef, taking pictures of your own creation and post it share it and be proud of it. I wish I have your skills chefs, no, really, I'd love to be able to cook better.

But after reading this article. I kinda understand why I got so irritated now. Food has become the important thing and they placed the people whom they share the moment become very UNIMPORTANT. It seems for those who excessively taking pictures of their food and post it on social media, are obsessed about their food. Had food has genital organ, these people would probably had sex with their food.

I know it is up to them, and none of my business. But seriously, don't disturb my dining moment. Go away and get your own. ***