coffee date

I had coffee dates with two different boys in the past few days. I think it is a good way to expand my friendship circle since mine is shrinking rapidly. With B [suddenly] having a policy of not mixing friends, I don't think I will ever expand my circles by hanging out with him and his attitude. Anyway, the first boy is Japanese, tall slim with this very traditional look which I like it better [instead of the sophisticated japanese metro style]. He's very polite too. But I had to rush for French class after that so we didn't really chat much. Apparently he's been stalking my facebook for quiet some months. He even saw me in city when I had coffee with my mates but he's too shy to say "hi" he said.

The other one is a blonde, blue-green-grey-ish eyes. I met him yesterday for lunch and coffee. He's not that tall, only about Seb's height. Australian born of mix Austrian-German-Russian a very talented guy. He is very keen to meet me again after work yesterday but I couldn't stay long because I had to go for gym and cinema. Such a lovely person that he even walked me to my car in the parking lot because I finished earlier he has to get back to work.

Still to early to findout what kind of people these guys are. But I am more than willing to invest my time to learn more about them. J and B and Boy#3 used to be so nice at first, but things just turned different after a while. It doesn't mean I will stop getting to know people. Some people just change [maybe].***

my hair and humidity

boulard

bluesky

food food food

Seb rushed me to the airport as he needs to meet client earlier than he was initially plan. I gave him hug and cheek kisses as usual and let him off to see his client. I found the flyscoot check in counter is so full of people queuing already, but for some strange reason I managed to get the first to be checked in for travelling light. I still managed to sit down and have a big brunch while messaging Neil on the other side, letting him know for my flight info and arrival.

Crossing border was such a breeze, but with full flight, boarding was such a pain. The seat size was decent for a low cost airliner, but the guy who sit next to me is a bit oversize and took both mine and the other passenger arm rests. On top of that he has body odour and made up my bad flying experience. The supposed to be 7.5 hours flight turned into 8.5 hours. No delay but somehow I felt something isn't right with the plane itself. Maybe it's too full so it flew slower? I dono, but I felt the amount of vibration on the fuselage just not right. I tried to sleep but I couldnt as the other passenger smartly open her laptop and watch series "friends" [yep you got that, it's the 90's series] and she watched it out loud. A baby crying in the front row was just a cherry on top of my cake.

more food

As the aircraft doors open upon arrival, I can feel the humid air just rushing-in. I guess now I'm in South East Asia. took me about 10 minutes walking, from the plane until I clear up the border and meeting Neil. It took us 45 minutes changing trains till I can drop my bag and get change for night club. "Are you sure you wanna go clubbing?", Neil asked. "yah, why not, I never seen Singapore gay club before, I wanna see", I replied as I tried to fix my hair, "Damn you humidity...!". "what's wrong?", Neil asked. "It's just that my hair and humidity doesn't get along well, ah forget it, I'll just leave my hair, Let's go".

"My hair and humidity, they don't get along together"

some random art

Collected two stamps [AU border doesn't stamp, hmph]

At the gate of one of the night club, we were asked for ID and Neil stared at me. "It must be because of you, not me", he said. "Nah, it's a screening to filter if we're too old to get in, didn't you look around that I am probably the oldest one", I replied. I am a bit disappointed with Singapore gay club tho. It's not like a night club to me, it's more like a bar but with roughly 80% gay guys [the rest are just girls]. This is probably why Neil kept asking me whether I really wanna go clubbing. For a moment, I even questioned my own sexuality after seeing how queen-ish these gays are. But after I saw girls passing by I'm sure I'm still gay, but I feel like we're the most straight people in the bar. I thought I am out already. Two a.m. we decided to leave and get some sleep.

The next day, we went for breakfast then head to orchard. Aimlessly walking around only to see the shops, gay guys, and occasionally made stops if I find some interesting food. Walk, eat, walk, check out guys, walk, check out shoes/watch/undies/clothings, walk, eat again, and more walk, walk, walk. At the end, we head back to Neil's place because I need to grab my bag before catching up with Y. She treat me chilli crab she's been wanting to show me how nice the place and food is. It's yummy... I ate most of it. We were catching up quiet a lot and been moving around from one spot to another taking pictures [with only my iPhone]. But the cinderella in me told me, I have to go back before midnight to catch the flight at 2 am.

All in all, it was one of my spontaneous decision when I bought the ticket, stupidly really short visit [less than 36 hours] , not so many activity [mostly just walking and checking out guys], but I had a really good time. Afterall, small things in life are important as they keep me happy.

PS: I only got two stamps on my passport, and my legs still sore from walking.***

crab, before

Crab, eaten

blue hour

night

boys I find attractive

I'm not sure if boys I find attractive can be categorised as my type. I'm not even sure what is a type anymore. Type is more like overrated for me now. But anyway, after a while these are what I think made boys so attractive to me if they have the following treats: tall, lean/athletic, knows what to wear and how to present himself, know what he wants in life, a go-get-er on his passion, and preferably non smoking. No, wait, that's sounds so vain but bear with me for a moment. There's more than just vanity behind it that made me attracted.

Tall, it's kinda you're born with it right? what I meant by tall is that he can stand tall, no hunches or feeling small and insecure gestures. Those who tends to sit and stand with hunches are tend [not always] to be less confident about themselves. Mean while lean/athletic shape has something to do with their: discipline, self-control, and self-confident. I'm not interested with those bad boy look, but I'm more attracted what's underneath it.

Discipline. Everyone was born with baby fat. Those lean/athletic shape is something that they earn thru discipline. Even if you do liposuction, the muscle lines will not look as natural. Self-control. No offence intended to those who are having larger BMI number [it's just my preference], but by having lean and athletic shape [in relative to his age, i.e. don't expect a gold fish to do wall climbing here] means that he has self control over what he eats. If he can control what he eats [I don't mean with calculation of how many calorie per meal per day, but more like guesstimating how much intake he needs vs the activity planned on that day]. Self control is eventually become a key to major decisions in life, such as finance and future career. Self-confident. Boys who are stay in shape will have a better self confident. I am not having a bf who has lack of self confident of himself and require praises from me in order to make him feel better. I want him to feel good for who he is.

If he has self-confident then he will never have a problem in finding what to wear anymore or how to present himself. Afterall, he's the one wearing the clothings not the clothings wears his body. That's when brands of clothings became something so trivial that he wouldn't even care. if it's brandless but looks nice on him, his posture, and his skin tone, then brandless clothing it is.[OMG: I've turn into a guy I should marry]. He will still need to get some adequate branded stuffs just for some occasions, but it's not necessarily an everyday thing.

Knowing what he wants in life will surfaced as soon as i start to get to know him. If he knows what he wants and actually go and try to get it without much gazillion thought is a plus. The non smoking part, well I have to admit I used to smoke occasionally since I was 10 till around 18 ish, but I quit since then. Don't solely blame me, because every banner I see on Indonesian streets are related to cigarettes, where every other countries it is illegal. But here, I don't smoke, I can't afford cigarettes, I live a healthier life and I'd expect the same from him.

Additional attributes of boys that I find attractive are good looking, blonde hair, blue eyes, smooth/hairless skin, it'd be nice if he speaks French and also knows how to surf those big waves on the beach as well as snowboard with me. It's not necessary, but it'll be added value, it's not a number one requirement, not even the super good look on his face. Gym, with that lean body, I'm sure he does it. And don't get me wrong, I still have preference too.

to be continued... boys I find comfortable with***

why French

New session for French class begins. Pascal still teach my class. For once this class has equal number of boys and girls. Tho I think one of the student who is a marine potentially gay. But my gaydar could be at fault as I tot Pascal was gay but he said he's married with two children.

Finale class of last session was rather disappointing. I think I made a lot of spelling and accents errors on my writing test. Although after the test we were kinda have fun as we still have plenty of time. We made the teacher to teach us swearing words, it'll be useful as some of my juniors at work are actually French native speakers. Now I can tell what's the meaning behind their swearing.

But anyhow, why did I choose French to learn? It's purely strategic. I'm not a big fan of french culture or whatsoever, but my mother tongue is Indonesian, in addition I also speaks a few ethnic languages. Speaking Indonesian which shares nearly 60% vocabulary with Malay, I think I pretty much can speak in four countries of south east Asia. In high school I also learnt Japanese and German. The choice was also purely strategic reason. Back then non english speaking top engineering schools was in those two countries. But I eventually ended up dropping German and focus with Japanese.

So why French now? Indonesian and Japanese are two Asians language. English is pretty much use around the world, so I thought I shall give it a try another European language that covers larger portion of the continents. French, half of the African nations apparently having French as their second language. Every single divisions in the United Nations uses English and French, despite the fact that UN official languages includes Mandarin, Spanish, and Arabic. But these three languages are only used in some of divisions. So why French, it is purely strategic if I wanna change career in the future.***

financing a couple

Tonight, I feel like throwing an finance issue to all my readers. I do not have any idea what's right and what's wrong in terms of the split. So, anyway, real case, I have a friend, name him P. He just found a new bf name him Q. They are just newly together a couple months ago but my friend P stays at Q's place and we probably can count with my one hand the number of days P actually stay at his own place since they are together. One day, P suddenly messaged me out of the blue telling me that he feels like going home to his place today. It was rather suspicious, I chased him up what was the reason, one excuse after another until... Aha... a finance story came up.

Q apparently asked P to chip in on the energy bills. P has objection as that means he's paying his place where he lives as well as chip in Q's bills. With his financial capacity, he has troubled to meet both. Although in my opinion Q has every right to ask P to chip in to the bill after I asked P "how many days actually you stayed with him in the past three months?", "that was a rhetorical question, "you only went home for five days if you sum it up". So to me, although they are not [officially] moving in together, they already are [de facto].

I threw the issue to Seb, and he thinks it's wrong if Q ask P to chip in because they are not moving in together. But I still disagree because they are moving in together de facto. And for me [now], finance is totally separate entity. Seb disagree as he thinks the sense of "togetherness" does not exist anymore. I would think my best friend Y will agree with me, she'll easily says "everyone must pick up their own weight".

I have the thought of this quiet a while, since around after J and I broke up. I am not so sure how did my parents finance the family. As far as I can remember mum worked hard as a single parent since dad left us when I was little. So I didn't learn much except how to manage whatever resources left, but I agree with Y's opinion, thus I told myself, the next time I am in relationship and ready to move in together, My future bf and I shall have a joint account. That's just for a start, we shall chip in equally to pay rent and bills and potentially for food and filling up the fridge. And if things goes well, we can probably set up one financial goal together. But then again, everyone has different level of financial power and capacity. In a "straight-society" the male probably play more role in financing the couple.

Anyway, back to the case. So, how does the finance shall work for couple when they [officially] move in together. Any thoughts?