Monday, 2 July 2012
financing a couple
Tonight, I feel like throwing an finance issue to all my readers. I do not have any idea what's right and what's wrong in terms of the split. So, anyway, real case, I have a friend, name him P. He just found a new bf name him Q. They are just newly together a couple months ago but my friend P stays at Q's place and we probably can count with my one hand the number of days P actually stay at his own place since they are together. One day, P suddenly messaged me out of the blue telling me that he feels like going home to his place today. It was rather suspicious, I chased him up what was the reason, one excuse after another until... Aha... a finance story came up.
Q apparently asked P to chip in on the energy bills. P has objection as that means he's paying his place where he lives as well as chip in Q's bills. With his financial capacity, he has troubled to meet both. Although in my opinion Q has every right to ask P to chip in to the bill after I asked P "how many days actually you stayed with him in the past three months?", "that was a rhetorical question, "you only went home for five days if you sum it up". So to me, although they are not [officially] moving in together, they already are [de facto].
I threw the issue to Seb, and he thinks it's wrong if Q ask P to chip in because they are not moving in together. But I still disagree because they are moving in together de facto. And for me [now], finance is totally separate entity. Seb disagree as he thinks the sense of "togetherness" does not exist anymore. I would think my best friend Y will agree with me, she'll easily says "everyone must pick up their own weight".
I have the thought of this quiet a while, since around after J and I broke up. I am not so sure how did my parents finance the family. As far as I can remember mum worked hard as a single parent since dad left us when I was little. So I didn't learn much except how to manage whatever resources left, but I agree with Y's opinion, thus I told myself, the next time I am in relationship and ready to move in together, My future bf and I shall have a joint account. That's just for a start, we shall chip in equally to pay rent and bills and potentially for food and filling up the fridge. And if things goes well, we can probably set up one financial goal together. But then again, everyone has different level of financial power and capacity. In a "straight-society" the male probably play more role in financing the couple.
Anyway, back to the case. So, how does the finance shall work for couple when they [officially] move in together. Any thoughts?