Saturday, 7 September 2013
Settling it less for more
I admit that I have been quiet shallow with my choices of boys. There's a specific look that I after from the boys for me to date. Chloe always said, good looking people [generally] trying to find other people that are better looking than themselves so you'll be just as good as a stepping stone. Then I pointed at myself. "Babe, we are probably just an exceptions, we just not into weird boys". But then again by being shallow, probably the very reason why I am still single and also the fact that I am actually enjoying the single life and the dates that I can go with.
A few months ago I dated this boy, I'd say just at the limit of someone I can date with. Yes I know I am such a douche. But anyway, I thought that'd be one of those one date and I can disappear as usual. As strange as it is, he's been so persistence to meet me more. Forget about his look, but he's probably the nicest guy I have ever met. He's willing to go above and beyond, he'll fly, he'll drive, he'll cook, he walk the dog with me, he teach me how to tame my dog, a very broad knowledge for the kind of job he has, and a world traveller too. Everything just started to etch me away. It scares me sometimes that I simply switch off everything [phone, mail, skype, facebook, etc] so I don't have to have a conversation with him for the entire day. But it just didn't stop him.
Shall I just settle it with this guy instead? I mean he's really nice loving and caring, but there's something still holding me back to give myself away. I am not sure what it is, it gives me sleepless nights. Could it be because I still haven't sexually attracted to him, or I still love my freedom being single, or maybe I still have a baggage that I still haven't unpacked yet. If I do settle it with him, I know I will be well taken care of, but it is unfair the fact that I am unable to give him back equally. WHat to do...***