Settling it less for more

I wouldn't say life is fair. But oddly enough sometimes I find it strange that guys with good look, nice in the eye but pain in the arse, whilst guys with less good look are just fine in the eyes and wonderful in their heart. Name it skinny bitch or fat jolly, you cannot be fat bitch, no one gonna like it.

I admit that I have been quiet shallow with my choices of boys. There's a specific look that I after from the boys for me to date. Chloe always said, good looking people [generally] trying to find other people that are better looking than themselves so you'll be just as good as a stepping stone. Then I pointed at myself. "Babe, we are probably just an exceptions, we just not into weird boys". But then again by being shallow, probably the very reason why I am still single and also the fact that I am actually enjoying the single life and the dates that I can go with.

A few months ago I dated this boy, I'd say just at the limit of someone I can date with. Yes I know I am such a douche. But anyway, I thought that'd be one of those one date and I can disappear as usual. As strange as it is, he's been so persistence to meet me more. Forget about his look, but he's probably the nicest guy I have ever met. He's willing to go above and beyond, he'll fly, he'll drive, he'll cook, he walk the dog with me, he teach me how to tame my dog, a very broad knowledge for the kind of job he has, and a world traveller too. Everything just started to etch me away. It scares me sometimes that I simply switch off everything [phone, mail, skype, facebook, etc] so I don't have to have a conversation with him for the entire day. But it just didn't stop him.

Shall I just settle it with this guy instead? I mean he's really nice loving and caring, but there's something still holding me back to give myself away. I am not sure what it is, it gives me sleepless nights. Could it be because I still haven't sexually attracted to him, or I still love my freedom being single, or maybe I still have a baggage that I still haven't unpacked yet. If I do settle it with him, I know I will be well taken care of, but it is unfair the fact that I am unable to give him back equally. WHat to do...***