the last supper

I haven't heard anything from him that day. But I was busy at work anyway. I decided not to go to the gym. I went straight to bed after work that day with fever. The clock was ticking louder and louder in my ear I decided to get up and take a warm shower. I sat down infront of TV while staring at the phone. Still no news from him. Until he rang and explained what has been going on today. "Have you had dinner yet?", he asked. "No, I just woke up half an hour ago, I skip gym as I had fever after swimming last night", I replied. "But It's 9 pm already, let's have dinner with me, I'm afraid that I will never see you again", he said. For once he genuinely wants to see me for dinner. I guess whatever on the book says works on him. "Sure, it's late tho, we can only have dinner in the city, so I'll drive since you're on my way to city anyway", I replied.

I sat there on the dining table in silence. I let him pick what to order and let him order too. My silence was there because I shut myself to a point where I don't have anything to talk about. I managed to contain my feeling and have myself composed. But apparently not to him. My silence was so deafening. I smell fear instead of food. I said nothing at all then suddenly he poured everything to me, whilst I just responds with a couple of nods or occasional yes/no answer. I showed him no interest any more its because I don't have it any more, I killed it when he was being such an ass.

"What is that? booty call?", he asked. "Nah, just Facebook update, I thought i was an important message", I replied. It smells nice or so I thought. "So this will be our last dinner I suppose, since your mum is coming to help you to move then you will be up at the coast with everyone in the family before you leave to UK", I said. "Yup, I suppose it is, But I am coming back in January for two weeks tho, I will catch you by then", he paused "If you still wanna see me that is, who knows you met someone between now and then and you don't wanna see me anymore", he continued. "haha", I chuckled "Even you don't want me, who would want me, don't be absurd", I smells more fear in him, the fear of loosing. At least I know I am winning in this silence battle.

I kept eating quietly, this is the place I took him for his birthday dinner. He always likes this place and kept saying that he's the only Caucasian in this restaurant. As I drove home, "If you go to UK, do let me know, I'm sure I can work it out a place for you to sleep", he broke the silence. "Yeh, I might go in spring or summer, tho I can only email you since you get rid of me from your Facebook, unless you updated me with your number", I replied casually. He hugged me tightly this time, "This is goodbye B, stay out of trouble, we don't know if we will ever meet again after this", I pushed him away before he get out of my car. "Why is that?", he asked. "Well, I have been looking forward to my ticket to leave the current job, by saying that I don't mind even if I am located in Africa, and who knows if I can get that job I applied last night too".

B walked into my life after J dumped me, twelve months later he left. Men, they sometimes come for a season, but other times for a reason. I don't know which one is B. It has been three weeks since he left, but my feeling still there, it won't go away.***