Saturday, 4 August 2012

coming out

What would you do if someone outed you to your parents? Everyone will have different answer and way to get out of the situation I suppose. This is my friend's story, Z. He went for dinner with B and I sometime late last year. Before we walked in, he was hesitating to get in because he recognise a friend of his already seated in the restaurant. Z's friend is Christian and very religious. But obviously B's and my gaydar sense that Z is also gay.

Recently, Z just foundout that this particular friend had outed him to his sister and his mom. Everyday he received messages from his mom that being gay is wrong etc etc. It was supposed to be something inspirational, but apparently it just annoyed him. Well, I would. Z been asking me what to do, but honestly I don't have the answer as everyone's situation are different and you need a tailor made answer for each situation.

What I can say was, I'll ignore, I'll take that as a comment if it were statements. But I'll reply if it was questions, and definetly will be a very very short answer, either two or three letter words. I suppose one thing that parents never realised is, the harder they chase their kids, the tighter they shut their mouth. I decided to stop replying mum's text messages as she chase me off. The last time I text her I only said, "can we stop on this subject otherwise you're loosing me". That was not a threat, that was a statement of fact as I will get tired to respond those comments.

But then again, each parents take it differently. Z's mum blame him for her blood pressure increase. Well, I guess my mum did the same too [at least she shifted the job to her doctor] Not that I came out to her yet, but I suppose she figured already. B's parents accept the fact easily, whilst AB's parents taking it even further like what's your plan to have children etc etc.

So, what would you do if you were in such situation?

PS: heading to snow [again] soon, just finished double check my list I thought to post this before I leave the driveway.

15 comments:

  1. Happy snowing to you.

    Oh well, somehow, the just now. And nothing much to do with "outed" or something else.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha, thanks, I ended up stranded in the mountain :p

      Delete
    2. OMG, just realized that I missed spelling few words.

      Aiks...

      :(

      Delete
  2. Seems pretty nasty... my turn will come... meanwhile, enjoy the snow =D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess some people are nasty, choose your friends wisely

      Delete
  3. If that ever happens, well time to move far far away....thankfully, none of my friend that I came out to even know my parent =D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. or maybe it's a blessing in disguise?

      at least he needs not to hide anymore?

      Delete
  4. My mum took it quite difficult to accept at first... but after justifying to her that even in this circle, i'm still me and not like those stereotypes that was planted in her mind. Slowly, she is accepting and better :). She also caught me sleeping and showering with my boi hahaha! Dont get me wrong... she didnt witness us having sex or literally opening the bathroom door or such xD. I guess it'll take some time to Z or probably he should talk nicely to his mum? :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you're right, that's what my other friend did. It took him three years to convince his mum

      Delete
  5. Sometimes I think need to well plan about coming out with parents and think twice when to do it. Also, this is most challenging thing in my life. x.x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. well planned, you need one

      the right moment? there will never be one, you must create the moment yourself

      Delete
  6. the only way for a happy ending, and i know it's not even what YOU CAN DO, is if his parents actually accept him for who he is. we didn't choose for what we are, and we cant change for that reason. Of course what he SHOULD do is explaining, persuading and all kinds of other reasons.

    All parents love their kids, something i find really true, n something a lot of other people told me before.
    sigh....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it's not an ending if it's not happy yet

      :D

      Delete
  7. I will ask Jesus everyday that is it okay if i kill. On the parents part..hmmm ...i guess much persuasion won't help. They just needs time for it to sink in and finally be okay with it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. maybe he will let you?

      but better if we can out this guy to public too, like make him kiss another guy in public or something >:) feeling evil

      Delete

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