I dunno what's going on, it seems things that I really really want are [just] not working out. Seeing everyone else have it made me feels so desperate because I [maybe] envy of what they have and I still cant get. Envy, one of the seven deadly sin. Oh wait, I don't think I envy them tho. Because envy is not only resent that another person has something they perceive themselves as lacking, but also wish the other person to be deprived of it. And I don't wish the latter one. I want them to be happy too, maybe I am just disappointed after the effort I've put and yet it doesn't get me anywhere. If this is keep going, I may eventually reach a point where I commit envy.
When things doesn't work out I feel like hiding away from the world. I thought "Can I just hide under my blanket and never to come out?" But after Tuls said about ju-on, then I dowan my blanket anymore. I need another place to hide.***